ADHD Awareness and Neurodiversity

A Late ADHD Diagnosis

I received a late diagnosis of ADHD last year. It hadn’t really crossed my mind that I might have ADHD. This seems surprising now, especially considering that I spent years as a primary school teacher in London in the 1990s and work as a therapist with clients with ADHD and Autism. Yet despite that professional background, I never recognised it in myself until a couple of years ago.

After a diagnosis, so many aspects of life can make more sense: the overthinking, the overactive brain that rarely switches off, the ruminating tendency, worry at times, procrastinating and sometimes catastrophising.

Alex Partridge, host of the ADHD Chatter podcast, describes the moment of diagnosis in a way that may well resonate. “I was diagnosed with ADHD at 34. Suddenly, everything made sense.” That sentence may well capture how it can feel to look back over decades of experiences and now understand a thread running through them.

Looking back, we might see how these traits were always present but often more intensified during periods of stress or life change.

During adolescence young people can experience significant highs and lows. This can lead to compulsive behaviours such as eating disorders, drinking, drugs, smoking, due to anxiety and depression and perhaps ADHD. Escapism can become a coping strategy, but burnout often follows.

Things intensify during for example, a bereavement, a shock, bringing perhaps death anxiety and depression.

For women through the stage of perimenopause, this can potentially cause waves or phases of anxiety and low mood. As menopause approaches, for some women, the signs that we may now recognise as ADHD can become more visible: escalating overthinking, catastrophising, insomnia burn out and exhaustion.

One ADHD trait which might be easy to see is the intensity of one’s empathy. The ADHD person often feels the emotional pain of others very quickly and very deeply. Sometimes it feels as though they can walk into a room and sense the emotions of everyone in it — almost like a sixth sense. In many ways this is a gift but also a challenge.

It creates a loyal friend, a compassionate listener and someone who can hold space for others. At the same time it can mean that boundaries need attention and repair. Through therapy and learning more about ADHD, it’s possible to work on strengthening one’s sense of self, understanding that we are separate from the emotions and needs of other and that we are responsible for our own happiness. This can lead to the realisation that you have a right to be happy, and that you are not responsible for always being there for everyone else.

One concept that can be particularly powerful to understand is Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD). RSD can make emotional pain, particularly perceived rejection, feel overwhelming and deeply personal. You may have always known you were sensitive, but learning about RSD can help to understand experiences from much earlier in life. This might be the intense emotional experience as a child on your first day at school.

No matter the reassurance you received, those feelings may have been incredibly difficult to soothe. As described in one episode of the ADHD Chatter podcast, “RSD is the hardest part of ADHD… it causes extreme emotional pain when you perceive someone has criticised you.” Understanding that there may have been a neurological component to those experiences can be both validating and healing.

Another trait that people with ADHD might notice is an ability to remember very specific details of moments in time. Certain memories can remain vivid and emotionally charged even decades later. Remembering how someone looked in that moment what they said, particular smells or sounds.

Learning more about ADHD can make us curious about how our brains store emotional experiences and why certain moments stay with us so strongly.

One positive outcome of this journey for myself has been the connection it has created with others with ADHD. I now run ADHD groups where people come together to share ideas, experiences and strategies. The sense ofunderstanding within those spaces is powerful. Many neuro diverse people with ADHD have spent years wondering why certain things may seem harder for them than they appear to be for others.

Receiving a diagnosis later in life does not change the past, but it can bring something equally valuable: understanding, self-compassion and new ways of navigating the future. ADHD awareness, combined with therapy and the right support for the perimenopause and the menopause, can make a huge difference and provide a framework for living. As the ADHD Chatter podcast often reminds listeners, “None of us are broken, just different.” This can allow us to see ourselves with more kindness, and perhaps equally as importantly it can allows us to help others do the same.

In therapy we can look at strategies to manage traits:

Turning list writing and ruminating into positives - ways of processing and managing this through time management
Thoughts aren’t facts
People generally are thinking and concerning themselves with their own issues
Reminding ourselves that what might feel personal usually isn’t
Is this an intuitive gut feeling or am I exhausted, need to stop
The power of the pause
Do I need to change the environment, get away from people - take space
Have alone time
Where’s my pendulum at…Where am I on the pendulum? (see blog)
The window of tolerance – how can I get myself back within the window of tolerance
True Rest
A walk by the sea, in nature, in trees
Listen to the birds
Notice the small things
Be in the now
Moment by moment
Therapeutic exercise: Swimming; Walking; Listening to music; Playing a musical instrument
Tricks - Giving self a command eg Stop; Pause; Get up; Go to bed, Saying it out loud can be very powerful.
Speak to self. We are an expert on ourselves.

ADHD General Info

It is becoming increasingly recognised that, along with ADHD, a person may experience symptoms of other neurodevelopmental conditions such as autism, Asperger’s, Tourette’s syndrome, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), dyslexia, and dyspraxia.

Approximately 1 in 2 people with ADHD have dyslexia
Approximately 1 in 2 people with ADHD have dyspraxia
9 in 10 people with Tourette's have ADHD
2 in 3 people with ADHD have autistic spectrum traits, and people with ADHD are 8-fold more likely to meet full criteria for an autistic spectrum diagnosis

What is neurodiversity?

Neurodiversity is a term that refers to the natural differences between people originated in the 1990’s by Australian sociologist Judy Singer. It can be compared to terms such as race, culture, class and gender and is useful to describe people with varying characteristics and behaviours of neurodevelopmental conditions alongside the “neurotypical” majority in an open accepting and non-prejudiced way.

It is thought that up to 15% of the population are thought to be neurodiverse. The remaining majority are neurotypical.

Diagram created by Mary Colley & Joseph Aquilina
NeuroKnowHow.com

~8% of people in the UK are thought to have ADHD
~10% of people in the UK are thought to have dyslexia
~8% of people in the UK are thought to have dyspraxia
~6% of people in the UK are thought to have dyscalculia
~1% of people in the UK are thought to have an autistic spectrum condition
~1% of people in the UK are thought to have Tourette's syndrome
It is thought that as research develops, certain mental health conditions such as psychopathy, some personality disorders and schizophrenic conditions will come to be re-interpreted as having been diagnosed both in people who experience symptoms due to poor mental health and people who are experiencing neurodiversity and require different approaches to care
An additional ~3% of the population are known to have generalised intellectual disability
Some people believe that being generally intellectually gifted might be a form of neurodiversity, citing rare conditions like savant syndrome and hyperthymesia (highly superior autobiographical memory) as extreme examples of neurodiverse giftedness

Many aspects of society are based on the assumption that there is one form of 'the human mind' and accordingly, many systems (education, employment, health and social services, social relationships) have been built up premised on being neurotypical. Creating and having more understanding of neurodivergence is not only beneficial for everyone, but fair.

Language to use

Neurodivergent: When talking about the individual person
Neurodiverse refers to the community
Neurotypical: People that have typical brain functions
Coexisting conditions: Use this instead of comorbid conditions
Conditions: Neurodevelopmental conditions over disorders
Hyperfocus: Overfocus on one thing or task
Often for many hours
Special interest: Obsessive special interest research or hobby
Masking and camouflaging: trying to blend in and act like a neurotypical. Often exhausting
High functioning autism. Functional labels are outdated and can suggest inaccurate assumptions about a person's ability and difficulties. They separate the person from the condition
Aspergers syndrome: An older term meaning high functioning autism

Some ADHD traits:

High intolerance of uncertainty
Now and not now thinking
Ruminating
Misreading feedback
Catastrophising
Negative self talk
People pleasing
Emotional outbursts
Racing brain
Darting mind
Stimming
Burn out
Masking
Hyper focus. Over-focussing for many hours

ADHD strengths:

Creative thinking
Visual/spatial reasoning/ability
Hyperfocus
Passion and courage

If you'd like to find out more, work together one to one, then do get in touch and we can have an initial chat free of charge. If you are interested in attending my ADHD Aware Group please read below and get in touch.

ADHD Aware Group

ADHD Aware - Personal Development Group
Brighton Counselling
Facilitated by Nicky Mark

Wednesdays 530-7pm
One group of up to 5 participants
4 Orange Row ,North Laine, BN1 1UQ

£25 per week – concessionary places